A Secret to a Healthier Romantic Relationship

Every couple will have moments of challenge, triumph, ecstasy, grief, and love.  Yet, couples often find that the most difficult moments involve doldrums of non-passion and apathy.  For instance, a common complaint might be that “there isn’t a spark anymore” or perhaps “we just aren’t connecting anymore.”


Many couples therapists would recommend that you find time to be together, perhaps go on a date or send the kids to grandma’s house.  Although such things might be a great way to shake up some of the monotony, finding the time and/or money to create that space can be challenging.

Therefore, I propose a simple tactic that could restore some much-needed intimacy into your relationship:



You heard me.   Foot rubs.  You probably spend many of your evenings plunked in front of the television anyway, so why not?  Also, you don’t need to be an expert to give a half-decent foot massage.

Here are 5 simple tips for making this work:

  • Both partners must rub each others’ feet for an equal amount of time.  My wife and I switch between episodes, but to start we used a kitchen timer.


  • A $3 bottle of lotion is just as good as a $15 bottle.


  • Work the lotion in the palms of your hands for about 15 seconds before applying it so that you do not inflict icy death on your loved one’s toes.


  • Use your thumbs and be firm, but not too firm.  Ask your partner whether you are pushing hard enough or not.


  • If you cant stand feet, go for shoulders instead.

Foot rubs are a great way to express intimacy, even with kids in the room.  My parents set a great example for me by doing foot rubs each time we had family movie night.

Nothing says “I love you” like being willing to wrestle with some bunions.