Building Bridges of Belonging
Sharing Science through Stories
Leading Lifesavers with Love
Keynote Speaker on
Bullying
Helping Audiences Rethink Bullying and Cruelty
“I learned to hate myself when I was nine years old.”
This is the opening line from my TEDx talk on radical compassion.
Most people don’t know what I endured growing up. I didn’t open up when an older kid on the bus chose me as a source of malicious entertainment. I kept quiet about the drama unfolding in middle school as my classmates kept me at arms length. And when one of the popular kids snapped a picture of my awkward chubby body during basketball practice (shirts-versus-skins) and gleefully shared it with others, I was so ashamed that I couldn’t tell anyone, not even my parents.
After years of surviving bullying, I started to change. I withdrew from others, escaping from my pain through books and video games. I became obsessed with physical strength, a way to keep himself safe and confident (and, thankfully, led to becoming a nationally-ranked shot-putter).
But no matter what I tried, the wounds never healed, and nothing kept my suffering at bay – until one day, I started taking it out on others.
It started with my younger sister. I mocked and teased her until she cried. At school, I made fun of the gay kid for being gay, the foreign exchange student for speaking differently, and the outcasts, who represented the parts of myself I hated most. Whether hurting someone’s feelings or pummeling people on the football field, my new coping strategy brought relief;
Still, the wounds never healed.
The wounds never healed.
Even worse, my actions created wounds in others. The cycle of cruelty continued. The insecurities caused by my bullying began to eat my sister alive.
And she stopped eating.
After an entire year of inpatient treatment for an eating disorder which nearly took her life, I learned to hate myself even more.
What kind of monster would do that? How could anyone be so cruel? This is all my fault.
When the day finally came to bring my sister home from treatment, I was ready for her to seek justice – to yell and scream and blame and lash back.
But that didn’t happen.
Instead, she did something unthinkable. Something profound. Something that transformed me from a bully into the man I am today.
She forgave me.
To hear the full story and learn how society can finally break the cycle of cruelty, check out my TEDx talk on YouTube.
Hurt People Can Heal People
I’m a very different person now from who I once was.
I am a licensed psychologist and expert keynote speaker on bullying. As a therapist, I help clients heal from wounds caused by trauma, especially trauma caused by bullying, mistreatment, and abuse in childhood. I help teach audiences about the realities of bullying and the interventions which actually work.
Whether you are a school with a bullying problem or a business riddled with harassment and hostility, consider bringing my insights to your community.
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Credentials and Areas of Expertise
- Doctor of Clinical Psychology
- Licensed Psychologist in Texas, Supervisor
- Pediatric Therapy and Assessment
- Autism, ADHD, and Other Neurodiversity
- Organizational Leadership and Clinical Quality Assurance
- Featured bullying and mental health expert in local and national news
Select Recent Events as Keynote and Plenary Speaker
- American Psychological Association (10x and counting featured events)
- University of Texas (3x return speaker by audience request)
- Collaborative Family Healthcare Association
- Savannah Autism Conference (4x return speaker by audience request)
- Association for Autism and Neurodiversity
- Belonging: Love & Autism Conference (3x return speaker by audience request)
- Southern Maine Autism Conference (2x return speaker by audience request)
- Advanced LA Conference, California
- Provincial Association of Alberta, Canada
Speaking Services Menu
- Motivational Keynote Address (20-60 min.)
- Plenary or Breakout Session (30-180 min.)
- Live Performance TEDx (15 min.)
- Co-Led Keynote or Breakout with Dr. Daniel Wendler (per request)
- Full or Half-Day Intensive Workshops
Not sure? Contact us to discuss options.
We offer discounts to non-profit organizations and first-time event engagements.
Contact Form
Other Speaking Topics
About Bullying
Bullying is a harmful and persistent pattern of aggressive behavior aimed at belittling, intimidating, or demeaning others, often repeatedly and systematically. Its effects on those targeted are deeply damaging, extending far beyond the immediate encounters.
Victims of bullying can experience profound emotional and psychological trauma, leading to increased anxiety, depression, and feelings of worthlessness. The fear and stress induced by bullying can also affect physical health, leading to sleep disturbances and even long-term health issues. Beyond the individual, bullying can have a ripple effect, impacting families, communities, and even the wider society. It is a societal issue that demands our attention, empathy, and commitment to creating safe, inclusive environments where no one has to endure the devastating effects of bullying.
Bullying can take many forms, including physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, as well as exclusion and social isolation. It often occurs in schools, workplaces, online, and in other social settings. While anyone can be a victim of bullying, certain groups are more vulnerable, including those with disabilities, LGBTQ+ individuals, and people of color. It’s important to recognize the signs of bullying and take action to intervene and provide support for those affected. This can include speaking out against bullying, advocating for policies and programs that address the issue, and providing resources for victims and their families.
By working together, we can create a world where everyone feels safe, valued, and respected.
What to Look For
Recognizing the signs that someone may be a victim of bullying is crucial for offering support and assistance. Here are five warning signs to look for:
- Emotional Distress: Victims of bullying often exhibit signs of emotional distress, such as increased anxiety, depression, mood swings, or sudden changes in behavior. They may become withdrawn, irritable, or display a loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed.
- Physical Symptoms: Bullying can manifest in physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or trouble sleeping. Victims may also experience a decline in their overall physical health due to the stress of the situation.
- Social Isolation: A sudden or prolonged withdrawal from social activities, friends, or family may indicate that someone is a victim of bullying. They might become more isolated or exhibit avoidance behaviors to escape their tormentors.
- Declining Academic or Work Performance: Victims of bullying may struggle to concentrate, leading to declining academic or work performance. Frequent absenteeism or a drop in grades or work quality can be a warning sign.
- Unexplained Possessions Damage or Loss: Bullying can extend to personal belongings. Frequent damage or loss of possessions without a clear explanation might indicate that someone is being targeted by bullies.
It’s essential to approach the individual with care and empathy when you observe these signs and encourage open communication. Let them know that you are there to support and help them navigate the situation. If you suspect someone is a victim of bullying, take their concerns seriously and encourage them to seek help from trusted adults or relevant authorities.
What to Look For
Recognizing the signs that someone may be a victim of bullying is crucial for offering support and assistance. Here are five warning signs to look for:
- Emotional Distress: Victims of bullying often exhibit signs of emotional distress, such as increased anxiety, depression, mood swings, or sudden changes in behavior. They may become withdrawn, irritable, or display a loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed.
- Physical Symptoms: Bullying can manifest in physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or trouble sleeping. Victims may also experience a decline in their overall physical health due to the stress of the situation.
- Social Isolation: A sudden or prolonged withdrawal from social activities, friends, or family may indicate that someone is a victim of bullying. They might become more isolated or exhibit avoidance behaviors to escape their tormentors.
- Declining Academic or Work Performance: Victims of bullying may struggle to concentrate, leading to declining academic or work performance. Frequent absenteeism or a drop in grades or work quality can be a warning sign.
- Unexplained Possessions Damage or Loss: Bullying can extend to personal belongings. Frequent damage or loss of possessions without a clear explanation might indicate that someone is being targeted by bullies.
It’s essential to approach the individual with care and empathy when you observe these signs and encourage open communication. Let them know that you are there to support and help them navigate the situation. If you suspect someone is a victim of bullying, take their concerns seriously and encourage them to seek help from trusted adults or relevant authorities.
Supporting Targets and Survivors of Bullying
Supporting victims of bullying is crucial in helping them heal and regain their confidence. Here is a list of actions individuals and communities can take to help victims of bullying:
- Establish Systems for Prevention and Healing: Schools and workplaces have the power to build programs that address bullying at the source by raising awareness, increasing emotional intelligence, and intervening in compassionate ways.
- Promote Inclusivity: Advocate for an inclusive and respectful environment where everyone feels valued and heard.
- Respond to Cruelty with Compassion: When we experience cruelty from others, whether through immense injustice or small moments of mistreatment, all of us have the chance to respond in ways that disrupt the cycle of suffering.
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